As the study ends.

This year isn't something to be too happy about. But i guess moving on is a thing to do. Loosing one you love at the end of the year and the beginning of a new one, alot to take in. Study is almost over in a week or so. I haven't written in a while. i will soon, not right now. must live it first, then aimlessly rant and dictate.

Your a dickhead to me; likewise

im one of those people, who cope with bullshit for a while, until it gets overboard i begin to heat up. like most people, i do not speak up, i do not tell my feelings as often as i should. because we all need someone to talk to, apparantly i dont. because you have the reassurance of those who you can speak to about your problems. i do not. everyone tells someone. its been like that since the dawn of time. " i promise ". after one knows you have the imformation of the others reputation, it spills. only making a massive leak of unknown knowlage to others and a hole of embarrassment.

"so opening your mouth before you speak, try thinking. you dont know who else may know by the end of the day."

waste eggs and i'll get PETA up on your ass

some dumbfucks these days have no lifes, espesially those who waste eggs for one thing, its to waste off food, but to waste perfectly good eggs is a WHOLE different story! like omfg, dumb kunts!so i just got out of the shower, awsomest shower out, then i did my comb over style hair, popped on the headband and headed downstairs to greet my dad, who had just come home and walked in on me taking a shower ( thankfully leaving immedietly ). our conversation went like this;me ; so how was work dad? dad; oh it was okay, pretty tiring.BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! these weird sounds just came out of no-where. my dad and i, looked at eachother, and i think i know what we were both thinking. " what the fuck?" we approached the window and saw eggs on my window. my dad looked pretty pissed and headed out to the backyard. frankie came along and started eating the eggs, but thats the lighter side. my dad then washed it off and i went upstairs. as i went upstairs, i spoke to aaron and michael about this asshole. i went on brb for a couple of mins. so i went to check up if this guy was trying to have a go again. from the bathroom window on the second floor, it was pitch dark. all i could see was the fence ( and westpoint LOL ). i waited a few seconds, looking at the fence. i then see a little head, peeking over, as if it was searching to see if the coast was clear, after he checked that it was ( or so that asshole of a son of a gun thought ) his hand raised with the egg intact. at the top of my lungs, i then screamed " OI DICKHEAD PISS OFF! " hearing my voice suddenly he then fell off what he was standing on.and thats how i deal with bogan-egg-wasting-assholes.

thank-you:D:D

The Luvo Disease; keep a low cholesterol

Photos of people latley have become utterly stupid. some people do strange poses, and those poses sometimes to real far and go real stupid. i dont have a problem with a person having a couple of photos, but then begin to have albums full, pilling up and up, thats when it begins to piss me off. things with these photos include poses such as " the hair puffer " , essentially used by Gangas of the sort. a second post is the " birds-eye view " another pose essentially used by gangas with the pointing of the toe and showing of the outfit. another pose of this would be the " lean down, let your shirt drop and look at my boobs!" pose. essentially used by people who would like so show cleavage ( although most who do this dont have fucking boobs, nor nipples ). another thing with this photos is that, some ( or most ) people, when they take photos, they raid their wardrobes, in search for their " awsomely trendderrrr-r-ricif threads". Most photos include captions and tags. The purpose of these are to explain the location and the people in the photo ( shit, i have a runny nose right now ). some people use this as an oppertunity to gain " excpeted complements ". examples of this would be " oh im so ugleh:P " and " im soooo fatt:P " and " are my boobs too small?". alright stop, for one thing they need to learn basic grammar, and two, dont be modest, because in this situation your not being modest, your telling the truth for people can deny it and give you a sense of self-confidence blahblahblah ..most girls who do this sorta shit are the whole " fuck me how BITCH " sort of people. now that scares me, at a sense that my own generation is trying to expand the population of the next generation ( ooooh go that rhyme ). word of advice to guys; " dont fuck these chicks, they have HIV "another thing i dislike is, when your at a party or something, and theres a group of people your age at that party. now your alone, your cousins/ friens havent arrived yet. that group just sits there dawdling at you. they all look at you. if you go outside, thet go outside as a mob. what the fuck is this? the hardy boys. the brady bunch. FUCK man. anyway, they all just look at you. its so fucking annoying -.-" . speaking about family parties, theres this girl i know from a " church " sorta group thing. now me and this girl, hmm lets call her " Filangy " ( i just love that word ). me and " Filangy " dont exactly get along. a little " Family Dispute " happend between me and her. something about me not wanting to play hide and go seek or some shit. anyway, shes at my house for a family party. im sitting in my study room in the interent as per usual, she walks in with her " spice girls mob " of fatass cousins into the room, start eating and mess up my room uninvited. i know this is abit slack but its upstairs aswell, so theyre not meant to be here anyway. they jump on my bed, so on. and then as i sit down they all eye me down while im typing on my laptop, all eye me down and whispering. gah -.-" fucking retards. OH and my mom came in, and told them to like fuck off ( in a nice way ) and Filangy fell down the stairs ranting contines later on -.-"goodnight , as my tummy grumbles.

Internet and Parents; just dont mix for me.

I havent blogged for a while, my articulation didnt feel like coming out of me recently. so im waiting for the youtube live concert, since living in australia, its not the same time so im waiting.
interent ; a wide open thing to reasearch everything you would want to. parents ; caring, love, compassionate people. theres baisically 2 definitions for parents, every child would know. at times they love, care and so on, but the other half they are assholes --". i know its a bad thing to say, but when every kid is angry. all they can really wish is " i wish they were gone ", but when they go, its over.

My parents are those type of people who think im addicted to the computer. the only reason why i do this so much is because:

1) they never let me out of the house
2) if i ask to help with stuff, they say " No " then when they ask me theyre all pissy and saying why i never help
3) i call people once in a while, then theyre all like, you always use the phone -.-

the list is endless .

the bastards give me the laptop for a day, so i use it to my advantage, i mean its a rare event they give it to me. then all they ever say to me is " all you ever do is use the laptop " and all this other random shit. so yeah -.-", even if it requires studying " oh no here we go again excuses!"
even if i wave the paper infront of their faces, they still wouldnt believe me. thats parents for you.




oh, but p.s ;
i raised $6000 dollars over 4 years, im buying a notebook today without them knowing :P

Usual Tears

A oh-so happy day started to an awsome start. the usual period one, period two, over all the awsome school. after school; not so much. i've met this person, who used to me the world to me as a bestfriend, has now turned his back on me. for just under a year its been, has felt like a decade. He saw me and automatically looked away and entered the shop. from the corner of my eye, i could see him glancing. the pressure was just getting too much, so i immediatly left the shop.

later on that afternoon, my bestfriend and i sat down eating chips watching cars pass by. my " ex-friend "returned with another one of my bestfriends. ( childhood classmates ). He and my friend just stood there, my friend facing me, him with his back towards me. as if he was shutting me out. My friend told me he was going to leave with him to catch the bus home. they left. my bestfriend and i continued to eat. i picked up a chip, placed it in my mouth, and bit it once, after that, i paused, holding the chip by the tips of my fingers and my teeth. i slowly pulled it out and burst into tears for a split second. my bestfriend not noticing just continued eating, as i wiped away my tears. i wouldnt want to burden him.

later on this day, i spoke to a M.U of mine. M.U meaning mutual understanding. we havnt been speaking for a while now, i was wondering why, but somehow inside, i lost it for him. so i approached him and typed " if your not busy, can we talk?" he said " sure what about?" . in my chest my heart was beating, should i admit that i lost it , or just ask first. so the conversation went on for few minutes or so, until it came to the point where i asked him " is it over?, i just want a simple yes or no." he told me he dosent feel the same, and that we should just be friends. although any normal person would feel sad. i cried for a while, but then i realized, i can be me now. i can't be held down, but having him as a Boyfriend for a while was fun, we had our run but now i realized : " highschool is just a fraction of people in the real world. if you like one of them, think about all the other people you havent met! its a wide open world"

" gulong gulo, ang isip ko " translation to english
" my mind is so confused "

Music ; chucks a rage

To some, music is just a bunch of organized sounds to create a montage of sounds. To some, it means the world. i used to be one of those people. Music was my life and my soul, and i decided to throw it all away over one silly comment. I know that they say " yourself is your worst critic". i truley do believe that, but when family tells you. you cant help but take it in.

I know it sounds silly but, feelings were hurt, and dreams were crushed. A little family discussion turned into a " no-hoper" . I just sat down as my usual routine, jumped on the net and my grandmother walks in, give me a little talk. " are you really in the singing competition?", as proud as i was, i nodded my head. she looked at me in dismay and said "oh i dont think you should." confused i look at her and replied " why?". she looks at me hesitantly and says " oh i think you might get embarrased, your not really that good! if only you would learn." the sweet smile on my face, turned upside down. As she got up to leave, i told her to shut the door. I couldnt help but to burst into tears. the one thing i wanted to do in life, a comment tore me apart.

its all i could ever dream about or see myself doing. i'll always love music, but i dont know if i can sing again.

should i turn on my dream? or forget those words and keep going?

" dreams can be crushed with one word; Bad "